St. Patty's Day Recap

Since it is probably the topic of all Dallas bloggers, I don't want to be left out. I want to preface this by saying that I did not get as drunk as last year. Thank God. Last year I was "hungunder" by 5pm. And when I say hungunder, I mean in bed, lights off, feeling like my skull had split open under the pressure of my brain pulsating. I really thought I was going to die.

This year - victory! We all met, in true St. Patty's Day tradition at Ian's place with our biggest group yet. 11 in all! Zach and I showed up fashionable late, as is our M.O., with some Taco Cabana breakfast tacos in tow. What is a early morning drink fest without the burritos? We have arrived, let the drinking commence. My sister-in-law and I took our annual mimosa picture and dove into the alcohol! One mimosa, 2 screwdrivers and 3 jello shots later, it was time to head to the DART. We were all feeling pretty good, especially Steph who donned a miller lite box as we waited for the train.


The train was good and packed by 10:30am. Poor Zach had to wear me like a belt since I am too short to reach the hand rail. Awesome. When we exited the train Jan and I set out to buy more beer! The line at CVS was ridic. However, this was the link for the bathroom! Whew, we weren't there yet! We grabbed the last 2 cold Bud Light cases and waiting about 20 minutes in line. We cracked those cases open and loaded up the purses. I can't believe I even considered leaving my purse at home. How would I tote all this magical beer?

We got to our typical destination outside of Piggy Pies, found the boss man who camps out and set up shop in the parking lot. We met crazy Rachel there and followed her to the next destination. Rachel and I tried to get more free drinks from random people... she succeeded, I didn't. The story of my life.

There we consumed more beverages and met Hulk Hogan. I think I was even motor boated a few times by Rachel during this stop. Or was it earlier in the day? Doesn't matter, all that does it that it happened. More than once I think. After a bit we gathered to head into the block party.

Along the way to the block party the group spotted a Miller Lite box. What is it with these boxes? Being the mature adults we were, we decided to kick it all the way to the clock party - about 1 mile. Along the way we were yelled at for kicking it by some woman pushing a stroller who said that she was not drunk so therefore it was not funny. OK, biotch, this one is aimed for your head. We had some rouge gust of wind that carried our precious box off. In stepped our hero. He chased it down a hill into an underpass and rescued it for us. Game on. It nearly made it to the block party when it exploded into a million pieces and could not be saved. Later in the day upon leaving the party, someone actually stopped me and asked where the box was. Does that mean I am famous? I think so.

The best part of the entire day took place inside and out of a car wash. As we were walking to the parade I spotted a few people walking into a tucked away car wash. I have just found the hidden gem of a bathroom. No hour wait for me. I ran across the parking lot and took my place in line. Soon after a few friends followed. While in line, I started chatting up the people in front of me. Cause that is what I do when I am drunk. I talk to strangers. One large amazon woman in a dress is pacing hastily right in front of me in line. She and her friend were in a bad way. She kept saying that if she kept moving, she would not have to go as bad. There were only about 5 girls in front of her, so we were all pretty sure she would make it. Apparently she did not. She pulled out a ten dollar bill and paid the girl in front of her to let her cut. Mind you, she did not pay the person AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE! IDIOT! The girl gladly took her money and Amazon moved up one spot. When suddenly she walks out the exit stage right and leans up against the giant window that was along side the line. She had gone out into the car wash drive-thru. Two workers walked past her and threw their hands up at her. She merely shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. It was then and only then that we realized that she was peeing. She just up and peed in the car wash in front of the employees. Think that is where it ends? Nope. Amazon did not make to the car wash before emptying her bladder. She started inside the car wash, in line. Sweet. There was a giant puddle and a trail as she pissed herself on the way to outside. The most amazing site ever! Needless to say, the carwash locked it's doors and shut down the bathroom.

After a while we headed back to Ian's place for some cornhole (not what you think. You have to be from the midwest to this amazing bean bag toss game) and hotdogs. The perfect way to end the day.

All in all I would say it was a successful day. Especially since I didn't piss my self in public. That and I was the only one who didn't get sunburned. Those who say it doesn't matter if you have a base tan can suck it.