Living Alone

No, I am not divorced... I am just alone... for now.

Zach left early, I mean butt ass crack of dawn early, Saturday morning for Hong Kong. He is one of the many from work that are traveling Hong Kong and China for work for 12 days. I am just day 3 into his trip and I miss him. I am not trying to get all mushy, but this is really the first time I am living alone. All through college I have never really lived alone. Sure, I wasn't living with him the whole time - at least that is what we told his parents, but I practically was. We lived in this ghetto shotgun house/split apartment, him and the boys upstairs and me in a separate apartment downstairs. But lets face it, I was wasting rent. He even went on co-op for school, but the boys didn't mind me staying in his room. Then we got married and I haven't really been without him for more than a day or 2.

I was convinced that it wouldn't be that hard... it is just 12 days. But let me tell you... the dogs don't talk back. I am not going to lie, I am scared to be home alone. I live in between a Dexter wanna be and an old lady that I learned last week was harboring homeless people in her home. Don't get me wrong, I am well protected. I have 2 large dogs and a 45, but I am not above sleeping with the hall light on and the TV going. I could only load 7 bullets in the 45, but I figure if I can't get the job done in 7 shots, they can do with me what they will.

I have discovered that I love the outdoors. I sit outside as much as I can with the dogs, even though I am still sitting, it feels like I am accomplishing so much more than sitting on the couch watching TV. I have also discovered that it is easier to go to the gym without Zach. He hates it, not that he needs it. So I feel guilty staying there long or going at all. Most days I go, I work through lunch so I can go early and not cause him to have to go at all. I went today and stayed nearly an hour. Maybe I will be a fit goddess when he gets back. Who are we kidding... that won't happen.

He called yesterday to let me know he got in and I missed the call. I immediately burst into tears. Irrational, yes... but I was so sad that I missed it. He called today when I was at work and it sounds like he is having fun. I am so happy he got to go on this trip, but I can't wait for him to be home.

I have already planned something almost every night to keep me occupied. Call me pathetic if you want, but that is me. Take it or leave it.