Long Time No Blog

It has been a crazy busy month to say the least. My baby sister (really my sister in law, but I have been around 13 years... so she might as well be my sister) got married. It was such a fun and exhausting weekend. I don't think I have ever seen a more beautiful bride. I am not kidding. In the world. I am so happy for her and her new husband! What a fun time in their life.

Here is a quick recap:

Thursday - I took a vacation day. I am not really sure I would call it a vacation since my boss woke me up at 8am for a question. Once I dragged myself out of bed (yes, at 8am - I know most of you were already at work... but come on people... THIS WAS A VACATION DAY!) I cleaned the balls off my house. I am not even sure if that is a saying, but it is one now. I cleaned every damn nook and cranny. Laundry, bathrooms, vacuumed, mopped, dusted and the kitchen. I finished with just enough time to hop in the shower, make myself presentable and then head out the door for some pampering with the girls. I was on track to be 10 minutes early for the mani/pedi when I got a text from the maid of honor (on orders from the mother of the bride) to find out where I was. Really? I am early. Sometimes I just can't catch a break. Nonetheless, I got a killer mani/pedi/chair massage! Not that it lasted more than a day... but who is counting the $35 I shelled out for a smudged big toe and chipped french manicure. After the mani/pedi it was time for dinner at Gloria's - the best place ever! On the way out we saw a girl celebrating her Quinceañera so we were entertained by that for a while. This might have been because she was "shooting" a music video with 6 of her closest Mexican cowboys in the middle of the harbor. Once all was said and done, I ran home, packed a bag and headed to Katie's place for the night. We drank wine (read: a lot of wine) and watched the 4 part Saved By The Bell Wedding event. Fabulous time.

Friday -
Wake up with a headache and get 4 girls showered and out of the door for the Bridal Luncheon. The lunch was held at the adorable Chocolate Angel in Richardson. We were supposed to have the room all to ourselves but for some reason the put some staunchy old women in big hats in there with us. When one of them made a comment about how short Katie's dress was (in her defense - her legs are a mile long) I thought the entire room would come unglued. We just chalked it up to the amount of sex they must not be having. Lunch was fantastic!




I hit the road, tanned in a level 5 bed (read: spaceship that was so big I could do crunches and push ups in while getting tan) and ran home to see my parents who drove in from Cincy for the wedding. I spent a whole 2 hours of quality time with them before I had to get ready for the rehearsal.

I have never been a bridesmaid, so I was pretty nervous. Luckily I got paired up with this super hot groomsman so it was easy to walk. I guess walking down the aisle with him nearly 5 years ago didn't hurt either. He was so cute dressed up.



Rehearsal was fun but hot! Dinner was great and free!


Saturday -
Up and atem as the sun came up. I packed every possible thing I could think of that we might need throughout the day shttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifince I knew I would not be returning home until late. I got a frantic phone call from Katie that she left something she needed in my car. This was the story of the weekend. I grabbed that and then she informed me that we had been told the wrong hair appointment time and were an hour late. I booked it to the hair place and sat down to enjoy some more girl time. We had a blast getting out hair done and even got to wear lunch lady shower caps because the 45+ mph winds would reek havoc on our new coifs.

We were quite the sight pumping gas and buying champagne. Heather, the maid of honor,put our authority hats on and got the bride and other bridesmaid back on a time schedule that we were comfortable with (the right one, the one that got us ready on time!) and got to the church.




We took our time getting ready. Heather fought for her right to be the maid of honor and did it gracefully. I did a few people's makeup and we melted in the bridal room as the air was not working only the heat. It was so windy out side that I was sure that we would blow away. Well, maybe not me... but definitely some of the smaller girls. I ended up being the photographer's (the best man at our wedding) assistant. He was a one man show and needed some help corralling the troops and getting people to listen to him. I can be pretty bossy, so this fitted me perfect. Before pictures done! Let the wedding begin.


My legs would not stop shaking the entire time I was up there. I was terrified I would pass out so I just kept bending my knees. All the ring bearers and flower girls miraculously made it down the aisle. Katie could not have looked more stunning as she walked toward her future husband. He was awestruck. Heather is right, it is so fun to watch the groom. He was adorable.

I snapped into drill sergeant mode as soon as the wedding was over to get the formal pictures taken care of. I sure hope I got everything I needed to - but I guess there is no going back now. We made it to the reception fashionable late because of a too many cars, not enough drives situation - sorry to those who were hungry! The reception was a blast - the speeches were heartfelt and hilarious. All in all it was a great day. After shuffling people back to hotels and where they needed to be, we headed home. One of the perks of having the amazing photographer staying with you, is you get to see all the pictures. We all (my parents included) stayed up until nearly 2:30 looking at the pics. I am not kidding, Daniel Castro is the most talented photographers I know. Check out his stuff.

Sunday -
Up and early again to retrieve a car before heading to the hotel early to drop off clothes Katie left in my car... see, the story of the weekend. Brunch was nice. It was hosted by Katie and her new husband to thank all of the out of town guests for coming. They opened more presents and we called it a day. I collected all the tuxes and ran them to Mens Warehouse on the way home. Then I crashed. I managed to sleep for an hour or so before getting back up to take Dan to dinner and then the airport.

What an amazing weekend!

I am not going to lie... I am perfectly OK with not doing a damn thing this weekend.

St. Patty's Day Recap

Since it is probably the topic of all Dallas bloggers, I don't want to be left out. I want to preface this by saying that I did not get as drunk as last year. Thank God. Last year I was "hungunder" by 5pm. And when I say hungunder, I mean in bed, lights off, feeling like my skull had split open under the pressure of my brain pulsating. I really thought I was going to die.

This year - victory! We all met, in true St. Patty's Day tradition at Ian's place with our biggest group yet. 11 in all! Zach and I showed up fashionable late, as is our M.O., with some Taco Cabana breakfast tacos in tow. What is a early morning drink fest without the burritos? We have arrived, let the drinking commence. My sister-in-law and I took our annual mimosa picture and dove into the alcohol! One mimosa, 2 screwdrivers and 3 jello shots later, it was time to head to the DART. We were all feeling pretty good, especially Steph who donned a miller lite box as we waited for the train.


The train was good and packed by 10:30am. Poor Zach had to wear me like a belt since I am too short to reach the hand rail. Awesome. When we exited the train Jan and I set out to buy more beer! The line at CVS was ridic. However, this was the link for the bathroom! Whew, we weren't there yet! We grabbed the last 2 cold Bud Light cases and waiting about 20 minutes in line. We cracked those cases open and loaded up the purses. I can't believe I even considered leaving my purse at home. How would I tote all this magical beer?

We got to our typical destination outside of Piggy Pies, found the boss man who camps out and set up shop in the parking lot. We met crazy Rachel there and followed her to the next destination. Rachel and I tried to get more free drinks from random people... she succeeded, I didn't. The story of my life.

There we consumed more beverages and met Hulk Hogan. I think I was even motor boated a few times by Rachel during this stop. Or was it earlier in the day? Doesn't matter, all that does it that it happened. More than once I think. After a bit we gathered to head into the block party.

Along the way to the block party the group spotted a Miller Lite box. What is it with these boxes? Being the mature adults we were, we decided to kick it all the way to the clock party - about 1 mile. Along the way we were yelled at for kicking it by some woman pushing a stroller who said that she was not drunk so therefore it was not funny. OK, biotch, this one is aimed for your head. We had some rouge gust of wind that carried our precious box off. In stepped our hero. He chased it down a hill into an underpass and rescued it for us. Game on. It nearly made it to the block party when it exploded into a million pieces and could not be saved. Later in the day upon leaving the party, someone actually stopped me and asked where the box was. Does that mean I am famous? I think so.

The best part of the entire day took place inside and out of a car wash. As we were walking to the parade I spotted a few people walking into a tucked away car wash. I have just found the hidden gem of a bathroom. No hour wait for me. I ran across the parking lot and took my place in line. Soon after a few friends followed. While in line, I started chatting up the people in front of me. Cause that is what I do when I am drunk. I talk to strangers. One large amazon woman in a dress is pacing hastily right in front of me in line. She and her friend were in a bad way. She kept saying that if she kept moving, she would not have to go as bad. There were only about 5 girls in front of her, so we were all pretty sure she would make it. Apparently she did not. She pulled out a ten dollar bill and paid the girl in front of her to let her cut. Mind you, she did not pay the person AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE! IDIOT! The girl gladly took her money and Amazon moved up one spot. When suddenly she walks out the exit stage right and leans up against the giant window that was along side the line. She had gone out into the car wash drive-thru. Two workers walked past her and threw their hands up at her. She merely shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. It was then and only then that we realized that she was peeing. She just up and peed in the car wash in front of the employees. Think that is where it ends? Nope. Amazon did not make to the car wash before emptying her bladder. She started inside the car wash, in line. Sweet. There was a giant puddle and a trail as she pissed herself on the way to outside. The most amazing site ever! Needless to say, the carwash locked it's doors and shut down the bathroom.

After a while we headed back to Ian's place for some cornhole (not what you think. You have to be from the midwest to this amazing bean bag toss game) and hotdogs. The perfect way to end the day.

All in all I would say it was a successful day. Especially since I didn't piss my self in public. That and I was the only one who didn't get sunburned. Those who say it doesn't matter if you have a base tan can suck it.

Pretty Good Day

So it finally happened. I got a promotion and became a salaried employee! No more clocking in and out. No more worrying about making my lunch only 1 hour. I feel free. I feel like I joined the land of the grown ups. The kicker was, is my new salary going to be worth giving up the overtime. I think so. Aside from the occasional conference bringing 48 hours of overtime to a single paycheck. Boy, those were the days! Now I am eligible for the bonus program. Yippee. But honestly, I could not be happier. I was the only person on my team that was not a salaried employee. I was the pee on. The person that made copies and got rooms situated correctly for big meetings. Not anymore bitches. Now you can make my copies. Well, I guess now I just make copies for myself.

My title didn't really change training coordinator to communications coordinator. But I am told it is a promotion, so I am going to run with it.

It is going to be a pretty good day. The sun is shining, the temperature is 75 and I will have more money in my pocket every week!

Sickly One...

So, it has been quite sometime since I have blogged. But let's be honest, I have not really had the time or the energy to be funny and witty. My baby sister-in-law is getting married in 5 weeks, so things have really begun to pick up pace. If we are not shopping, or planning, or partying... it is something else. Normally this would not be an issue at all, but I haven't exactly been the most healthy this year. I came down with what I thought was a mild flu just after New Years. That last about 10 days. As soon as I got over that, I developed a very sore throat and ear ache. Tada - sinus/ear infection. Doc popped me full of antibiotics and sent me on my way. I finished off those meds and started to feel better. For a week... then last week I started to develop what I thought was a cold, it could have been allergies. Who knows. It started to clear up just in time for the bachelorette party. Thank God, because that was a hella good time. So much fun that I spent most of the day after throwing my guts up.

Monday morning brought fatigue and a nagging cough, but I thought nothing about it, just assuming that I was still recovering from the weekends events and the cold I had the week before. 3 o'clock rolled around and I noticed that it was an ice box in the office. I could not warm up. By the end of the work day, my skin was so sensitive (my tell-tale sign that I have a fever) that I was sure that it wasn't just the temperature in the building. Hubs and I hit the grocery store and by the time I got home my clothes felt like razor blades on my skin. As soon as I walked in the door at home, a thermometer was in my mouth. Da da duh... 102. Wow! Now that is a fever - I am usually around 97. I spent that entire night on the couch with my snuggie and 2 additional blankets with no change as to how cold I was. I emailed my boss and let her know that I was not going to be in the next day because of the fever. 2am rolled around and I awoke covered in sweat - sweet! No more fever. The next morning, I took my temperature again, 103. Really?!?!? I immediately called the doc to get an appointment. Note to all internet diagnosers, don't go to WedMD - when I put all my symptoms (fever, coughing, fatigue, aches, headaches, chills), I had either pneumonia, or swine flu.

At the doctors office I sat in the waiting room trying not to breathe in case I had one of the above. I still had a rocking fever of 103 there too. Why is it that I always feel relieved when my symptoms are confirmed by the doc? I think that it is for me, so people don't think that I am exaggerating. I fell asleep twice in the office as I was waiting for my swine flu results. My doctor did think that was what I had and was actually shocked when it came back negative. She did however say that this was one of the worst cases of the flu that she has seen that was not swine. Another confirmation that I was not crazy.

So here I sit, on the couch the same as I have since Monday night (it's Wednesday). It is painful to walk, sit up, and just generally move. I have some mega antibiotics and some decongestant that tastes like battery acid. Even with the cocktail of tylenol and advil, I am still hanging on to this fever. If it is not gone by tomorrow morning, I won't be able to go back to work at all this week. Doctors orders.

Holy cabin fever batman.

I Hate Dentists

So I just made an appointment with the Dentist for the first time in quite some time. Let's just say since I moved to Dallas... in '05. Before you judge - I still have all my teeth, floss semi-regularly and do in fact brush my teeth. This does not mean that I am not scared out of my ever loving mind. I hate the dentist. Everyone keeps telling me that the one that I will be going to is great and very little pain. But lets just face facts. I cannot go to the dentist without them telling me that I have tartar build up behind me retainer and ripping my gums to shreds. Here is my answer to that... IF YOU WOULD TAKE THE DAMN RETAINER OUT, I COULD FLOSS EASIER. My teeth are straight, I have all my wisdom teeth in and straight. Take it out. I hate the damn thing. I can't wait to be in pain for a sold day after this. Oh, I want to cancel that appointment so bad... so bad. Can you say stressed?

This was all brought on by the fact that my baby sister-in-law just went for the first time in a few years and has 5 cavities and needs a "deep cleaning". They should call it a "wallet cleaning". She made the mistake of going to a big chain dentist. I don't know about in other areas, but in Dallas everyone I know that has gone to one of the big chains has been told that they grind their teeth at night and need a special mouth guard - here is the catch, it is not covered on insurance. I am not kidding. Any-who, they said that she really needs this "deep cleaning" ($1400) to make sure she gets all the junk off her teeth. $14O0 really?!?! And that is on top of her cavity fillings. She will have to pay $980 out of pocket for all this. No way Jose. I've got a feeling .... woo hoo... that she got screwed by that big company.

So anyway, I was told that this dentist is great. That does not mean that I have not worked myself up into a tizzy. I can't wait until tomorrow rolls around and I have pit stains the size of Montana rocking and I make all those nervous giggles that I do when I would rather be dead than doing what I am currently doing. Someone said that some places will give you something to calm you down if you tell them you have high anxiety about your appointment, done. God, please let that be the truth. This is no time for hero's... A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

A Whole New World

So my husband and I have been lucky enough to get some free tickets to movie premiers over the past couple of weeks, and let me tell you, it is a completely different crowd. First of all there are 3 distinct groups: the newbies, the ones that didn't want to pay for a sitter to go to a free movie screening, and the regulars (a.k.a. the crazies).

The Newbies:
These are the people who get free tickets from their friends for a movie that night. They rush home after work discussing how early they need to be there. At first they don't think that they need to be there because there cannot be that many people that have tickets for this, or that will actually go to a 7:30 movie on a school night. They let the dogs out and hit the road. Halfway there they decide that they should just eat dinner somewhere at the mall where the movie is showing and then head over to get in line. Upon entering the mall, you can hear a rumbling of noise coming from the floor above (where the theater is located.) There are already at least 100 people in line and the movie is not scheduled to start for another hour! This is not Harry Potter people, this is The Edge of Darkness. Needless to say, Zach had to run to Sonic while I got in line and we ate dinner on the floor of the lobby. Us = Classy.

The Ones that didn't want to pay for a sitter to go to a free movie screening:
Let me preface this: I am not a parent, so I cannot judge what parents do. I however, can judge the stupidity of people. When we got upstairs we noticed there were a lot of kids up there. I leaned over to Zach and asked to see the tickets. There it was in plain sight "This movie is rated R for graphic bloody violence and language". Sound perfect for my 6 year old, right?!?!?! WTF people. Just because you got free tickets, that doesn't mean that your kid needs to see it because you don't want to get a sitter. We were directly behind said family in line. When they approached the ticket attendant to get into the movie. He looked at her and then at her kid. He asked if she knew that this was a rated R movie, she said "I don't even know what movie this is.... that's OK, he will be fine". She then proceeded to walk in. Not sure how this kid fared in this movie, but the family next to us THAT HAD 3 KIDS UNDER 10, those kids were hating life the second a characters head gets blown off and her guts were hanging out everywhere. Great parenting!

The Regulars (a.k.a. the crazies):
There a complete underground of these people that spend their nights going from free screening to free screening. Now I am not talking about those that are critics or anything, just people. Several people brought their own folding chairs to sit in while waiting in line. What? I... hmmm. We had one such crazy behind us. Our first interaction with this woman is when she asked us if our ticket had been printed on an ink jet or laser printer. Because she was sure based on the quality of the print it must have been ink jet. *cricket cricket*. Then once the flood gates of her mouth opened, it didn't stop. She was asking us about every movie we had seen and telling us every movie she had.
"And did you know that Avatar has made more money than Titanic so James Cameron is thinking of re-releasing it back into theaters as a 3d movie...
"Hi Helen... so good to see you."
"Are you going to Dear John tomorrow and then From Paris with Love on Friday?"
"OK, good. See you there."
"Did you know that you can sneak food into the theater if you have big enough pockets?"
"The only thing that is hard is a drink, but if your purse was big enough, you could put it in there. Are you excited to see this movie?"... Just like that."

Maybe it was the Michael Jackson t-shirt and bright red headband that was throwing me off, or maybe it was the fanny pack. Either way, Zach and I were fighting to see who could make it through the door faster so as not to get stuck sitting next to her. Victory for us! We lost her at the purse check station.

Now, this is not just one isolated incident. There were crazies at the next movie we went to as well... Equipped with folding chairs and everything. They all hugged each other when they got in the theater and visited with others. There were even inside jokes between people from across the room.

Wow. That is really all I can say.

Gym Funnies

I have been informed that this story is not actually funny but sad, nonetheless, I thought it was amusing enough to write about.

So I have already mentioned that my gym had a crazy amount of Asians. This is more of a side note, but I took a poll. My own survey. I counted the people that walked up the stairs in front of my elliptical. Out of the 32 people that I saw come into the gym. I am not lying... 22 were Asian. Weird. Anyway, back to my story (which does have an Asian flair, so lay off me).

This evening I was watching the step class while I am ellipicizing. Not because I think it is hot, but because the elliptical that I have taken a liking to is located directly in front of the doors to the classroom. Oh that wonderful machine so strategically located directly in front of the giant fans. While watching the step class I notice something strange. There is a woman (Asian - there is the connection) standing in the middle to the classroom just standing. Everyone around her is stepping and twirling and jumping and she is just standing. It quickly dawns on me that she completely and utterly lost. The routine has turned her into a complete petrified statue. Every once in a while she attempts to step up on the step in time with the others, but 98% of the time she is standing completely still with her hands on her cheeks ala Kevin McAllister style. She would break up the complete stupor with a drink from her water bottle... because she was obviously parched. This goes on for a good 15 minutes until she slips out of the back of the class leaving her step behind and heading downstairs to the locker room.

Now, I do feel bad for her. I don't like to see anyone feel stupid like that. But I was completely mystified that it was actually happening.

So to the discouraged stepper out there, hang in there. You will find rhythm someday.